One of the hardest times for people with chronic illnesses and/or disabilities is the holiday season. In Canada, Thanksgiving is in October. Then Halloween—which can be hard for adults and children both when parties are involved. November brings American Thanksgiving and the start of Christmas parties. December is filled with holidays, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve. While festive times can bring us joy and togetherness, it can bring a lot of stress for everyone and especially for those with chronic illness/disability. Families and expectations are enough for anyone but the added stress can really aggravate people’s symptoms and conditions. Another huge factor for people with chronic illness/disability is the fear/anxiety that once plans are made if they will actually be able to make it on that day or if they will have to cancel. No one wants to be the person that has to cancel the day of, but with changing symptoms sometimes that does happen. No one wants to cause disappointment or sadness for another person and so often even when symptoms are bad people will push themselves and go anyways even if they know they are either going to really pay for it the next day or not enjoy it as much as they would like. So what should we with chronic illness/disability do?

I don’t have the magic answer but here are some thoughts. 

First, talk with the host far in advance about your desire to attend but there is a chance that you wouldn’t be able to make it on the day. Tell them this is no reflection on them.  Say how you really want to attend but that your symptoms change day to day and you won’t know until the day of the event. 

Second, if you can schedule a rest day on the day before the event so you can maximize you chance of attending! If possible spread events out to protect your energy and body. 

Third, have structures in place to help you get to the event and enjoy it. Arrange in advance someone to pick you up and bring you home, comfortable clothing and maybe a cushion or pillow to sit on, food that you can eat and enjoy either to bring and heat up (which you made and froze earlier) or that the host has for you, and even a safe person at the event that you can talk to if your symptoms get worse and you have to leave early. 

Finally, when you return home, have your resting and “emergency” supplies stocked—ice bags, heating pads, easy foods to open and eat, comfortable clothes to rest in, and activities to help you recharge. Be kind to your body.

It’s impossible in life to please everyone. So just be kind, to others and to yourself, and do the best you can. That’s enough.