Strength is Seen in Many Different Ways

Being strong or feeling strong can feel like a tricky concept. Sometimes we believe that by saying we are strong we are arrogant. Sometimes we don’t feel strong at all but just like we are surviving which doesn’t feel like strength. Sometimes we compare ourselves to others and so believe they are strong but we are not. It is all these thoughts and more that make us question if we really are strong.

The answer quite simply is that you are strong. Each of us has our own hurdles and challenges that we encounter and overcome every day—from getting out of bed, grieving, relationship challenges, and so much more—we all struggle. Many days it can feel like we don’t succeed, but when we step back and really think about it, we do succeed. Every day we wake up and start anew. Each day we start with the challenges that haven’t been resolved or meet the new ones that happen and we keep going. If this isn’t strength, that we continue on everyday despite our circumstances, I don’t know what is. Having strength does not mean we have everything figured out, or that nothing will affect us anymore, it’s the fact that we keep going.

I have heard discourse about telling people with chronic illness/disability that they are strong can be insulting. That the person with the illness/disability didn’t choose to have these challenges and so they are just surviving, they did not choose strong. And while I see where this is coming from—usually out of frustration that we did not choose this—I believe that we can take this as a compliment. I wonder if many of us bristle at this comment because we don’t feel “worthy” of that comment since we “only” get out of bed every day or “don’t do anything”. I believe this is worthy became you are here, you are still here, and you make a difference in other people’s lives (need help with feeling worthy? Check out this blog post).

Strength doesn’t have to be loud: it doesn’t have to be lifting 400 pounds, completing a marathon, or any other incredible feats of physical strength. It can be quiet and soft. Holding a friend while they are crying; going to another doctor appointment you’re not sure will help but you’re hopeful; talking with a loved one even when you’re having a bad day and making them feel heard; walking from the couch to the kitchen when you are fatigued. These and so many more situations are examples of strength that happen in everyday life. Take a moment and think about the strength you have in you. Think about everything you have overcome. Think of everything you continue to do even with your limitations. That is strength.

Inner reflection on what we have been through can be hard, so you can start lightly and even just think about one situation in which you showed strength and take comfort in that. You are strong. Remember that.