I find that the first months of the year can be a real roller coaster. You get to the end of the month, blink, and think, how is it done already? And then seconds later think, why did that month take so long? Time can be such a tricky thing. This past month has also had its ups and downs in weather here in Calgary. We went from winter to spring very quickly and had much less snow than we are used too. That just means that we will get so much snow later in the season (that is what typically happens!). It’s hard to plan for months like this because you never know what to wear! And of course the early months of the year always seem to come with colds and flus. I suspect it’s because we all stay indoors more often and the recovery from the busy holiday season. This leads to challenging days within the month. All of that can make your head spin!

I hope that this is something that most people can relate to. That months can seem long and short at the same time, that they can be unpredictable and frustrating, that you can have good and bad days, and that you can feel sick. This I believe is a good metaphor for the fluctuations of chronic illness and disability. Some days you feel fine, some good, some bad, some awful. Often you won’t know what each day will bring. You may wake up in the morning and know how you will feel, but other times it can change in the course of a day. This can make planning difficult and can also affect how you feel about yourself.

The start of the year can be a difficult time for many people and we can set for ourselves unrealistic expectations. If you are struggling with a goal that you set for yourself this year, know that that is okay! You can always change your goals or make new goals or give up goals. Change is not failure it is acknowledging that you and your situation changes every day. So when we start to beat up on ourselves, which we all do at some point, let’s take a moment, breathe, and say something kind to ourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful, that you are a good listener, that you make a great bowl of spaghetti, or anything else that you love about yourself. It can be difficult to start this practice, especially when you are in the midst of a bad day, so create a list of things you love about yourself on a good day and then when you do have a bad day you can take that list out and read it. If you are having a hard time believing what you wrote, say it to yourself out loud in front of a mirror. The more you do this the easier it becomes and the more you believe it. Trust me, it works, I have told myself the things I love about me many times and it has truly made a difference.

When challenging days and months happen it is so much easier to be hard on ourselves. Taking just a small moment and reminding ourselves that we are loved can make a difference. I hope for all of us that the next month is a little kinder and that instead of getting thrown about on the roller coaster we can laugh with joy throughout the ride.